Monday, November 15, 2010

Susy Homemaker Part I

I’ve been thinking about some of the reasons that I don’t mind the homemaker part of my job anymore. It has so many different reasons and there is also a back ground story to it all.  It will probably take at least two blogs to explain so I’m posting them in parts.

I started working (for pay) when I was 14 years old. Jon had said that he didn’t want children. So when we married I planned to work until I retired. Well God changes minds and Jon decided he wanted to have kids. Both of our moms stayed home with us and so we both just assumed that I would stay home with the children. But I was a reluctant housewife. I hated cleaning, cooking and pretty much any part of housework. I didn’t feel creative or good at any of it. So for a while I balked at the idea and then, knowing it was what I was “supposed to do”, I agreed.

For some reason I made the assumption that it would take a while to get pregnant. One and a half months later I was pregnant. We were building our house at the time and my paycheck was providing the funds for us to pay cash so we wouldn’t be in debt. Jon tried to guess how long it would take and told me that our son would be about 4 months old when it was complete. As you know from my previous blog it was closer to 9 months, but I digress.

So we talked about it and decided that he wouldn’t remember those first 4 months of his life and so I would continue to work until the house was done and then give my notice. I was missing the working girl life and was ready to jump back into the swing of things. I didn’t know many moms since we’d thought we weren’t going to have kids and most of my friends had started a family long before we did. Our ten year anniversary was one month after Dominic was born.

After Dominic came home from the hospital I would sit in my house and stare at the walls. He slept so much and since Jon was working and then going out to the building site he was never home to help make a mess. So it was just me and the house stayed de-cluttered. It wasn’t really clean since I hated to actually clean. I was SO ready to return to the life of work.

I had found a great person to watch my little one and I returned to work. My boss wasn’t the world’s greatest and I had to go up into the attic storage area to pump at least 2x a day. I was rushing on my lunch break to the babysitter’s house to feed him and when he wouldn’t eat I would get so upset. This was our time. He was supposed to be awake. Work wasn’t the fun I’d remembered it being. It was awful. Someone else was watching my baby smile and grow.

To make a long story short I turned in my notice and by the next week was home with my son. I was so excited to start this new chapter in my life. But then reality hit. I was bored and hated my job. Oh, I loved being with my son. He was the most precious thing in the world. But the assumption was that since I was home I should do the laundry, clean and cook something at least once in a while. We couldn’t afford to eat out or go anywhere and I struggled with being unhappy the whole time.

Nine months later we moved into our new home. It was so much fun and I was so excited about having a smaller place to clean. Somehow I thought this would make it easier. It actually made it harder. Any little thing out of place was more noticeable and everything had to have a place or the house looked awful. I now had a child to pick up after as well. And I was fast learning that they don’t care how much mom wants the house to stay neat. Messes are more fun.
Two years later my daughter enters the world. Small house gets smaller. Piles of toys get larger. Distance from town seems longer. Housework is still boring and awful.

One and a half years later Jon gets another job offer and we move to a new state, town and home. And for some reason, in that transition, my attitude towards homemaking changes. It’s a work in progress. But this is the reason for these blogs. I had to work it out in my mind why I don’t mind the “drudgery” of housework any more. Why was meal planning more fun. Why did I not mind ANY of it so much.

Part II next week.

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