My heart

I am by nature a very private and reserved person. An introvert. I can talk up a storm and share what appears to be way too much. But the serious stuff? That's kept close to my heart. While difficult because of my introvertness, I force myself to make friends and try my best to be welcoming. But the biggest pieces of my heart are saved for a very select few. These are the ones that can truly stay in my home for weeks without my minding, we can go months without talking and still have that connection, we can confidently share our most private secrets, they get me. They are family. I love them. I've mentioned one of the sisters of my heart here and now I'm going to share about the other sister of my heart.

She and her precious family came to visit us last month and I wanted to tie them down so they wouldn't leave. I was downloading the pictures from my last photo shoot and found the two pictures below. I don't remember taking them, so they might have been taken by Matthew when he borrowed my camera to try out a lens. Either way, I love them. And it made me miss that piece of my heart so very much.

Beth-Anne - sister of my heart

Beth-Anne is a beautiful person, as you can see from the photograph. But her gracious heart and understanding spirit is what shines through. Her friendship means the world to me and I miss her.

Edmund - my squishy boy

I love this little boy. I love him as if he was my very own. I understand how someone can love a child who wasn't born to them because of this sweet, squishy boy. I can't wait to meet his little sister. 

I love this family so much. I've learned so much from them and they've been an incredible blessing to my entire family. God gave us a great gift when He put the Whites into our family of friends.

Two lives

I started a post this week about all of the things that are hitting Jon and I right now. We are having home, business, and other issues. Jon made the comment to a friend about no matter how hard we try to be honest and fair in our business dealings we'll never come out ahead because the bad guy always seems to win.

My blog post was a scream (quite literally) of frustration. Life is incredibly unfair right now and I had reached my limit. But I forgot something very important. The people who are corrupt, unkind, thoughtless, and cold are living their life. And if they don't change, this is going to be the only life they get to live. I have the beautiful privilege of living two lives. I get this life, which is actually really good, and I also get a new life when Jesus comes again. 

So I didn't post my venting blog of frustration. I'm going to let it sit in my drafts folder as a reminder that I have some awesome amazing things just around the corner. And right now, in my corner, I have God and my family. I have friends, blessings, a home, and a church family.

My family and I are healthy, clothed, well fed, and happy.

I am truly blessed.

What a family!!! I couldn't have imagined or asked for a better family for me. They get me. Some of that is perhaps because I helped make two of them. ;) But regardless, I'm incredibly blessed, thankful, and a bit proud to call them mine.

Just an example from my week - 

I had a woman (who professes to be Christian) say some rather hurtful and unkind things about me, to my face. She did it under the guise of "being truthful" and "saying it like it is". And while I laughed it off, I was shocked that she would openly say something so rude and disrespectful out loud. She would be hurt, mad, and perhaps devastated if I'd said those things to her. She's the type that takes offense very easily. I can honestly say that I've rarely seen her smile. She's constantly saying unkind or hurtful things to people. She's made both of my kids cry. 

My gut reaction when she said these things was shock and then disgust. Because she was disrespectful to me, I couldn't find any respect for her in my heart. But then I began to feel sorry for her. She's a miserable woman that is clearly hurting inside. And that hurt comes out. She can't help but project it onto others in an attempt to rid herself of all of the hurt, hate, and sadness inside. I don't know why she's that way, but I can definitely pray for her. Because while those things smarted, I'm still happy and blessed to be me. I knew that everything she said was untrue and so I can go on with my life. But she's still hurting and bitter.

So my goal for this next week is to try to find the blessings in the negative. But it's also to try to spread a little bit of that joy to others. We have no idea what goes on in a life that we aren't living. Perhaps our little ray of sunshine will hit someone just when they need it the most. It might be the only bright light in their total darkness.

New truck

Jon and I have been talking for almost two years about wanting to get either a truck or an SUV. We had finally decided on a Honda Pilot. We are Honda people, through and through. We'd decided to sell the Accord since it had the most miles on it and also had a problem with the airbags that was making me nervous. We had priced them and figured it would be late spring or early summer (of 2012) before we could purchase one. About a week ago I was driving home and passed a small dealership. I saw this beautiful black Pilot sitting there. I knew it was not time to get one yet, but it drew me in. I talked to the owner for a few minutes and then blew it off. I even forgot to mention it to Jon right away. But I finally remembered to mention it and Jon acted way more interested than I thought he would.

To make a long story short we were able to get a really good deal on the truck and sold our Accord for more than we'd planned. So I now have this beautiful truck sitting in my carport.What makes it even more beautiful is that it's paid for. We didn't have to go into debt. A very lovely feeling!

 I am having to get used to driving an automatic. But it's worth it for the heated seats. Before you laugh - I'm ALWAYS cold. And these seats heat up almost instantly. They are warm long before the heat in the car warms me up. This is making me a VERY happy person right now. =)

Jon joked that we now have a pilot in the house and a Pilot outside too.

On another note - Jon and I always name our cars. Okay, it's mostly me.

My first car was a tiny Honda Civic that Jon (my then fiance) purchased for me. I named her Lucy.

All of the rest have been named. But I'm stuck with a name for my Pilot. He's a boy, just in case you decide to help me out. =)

This post may seem random, but the point is - I'm very, very thankful! We needed a larger vehicle to transport kids, dogs, motorcycles and house renovation stuff in and now we have one. And God has blessed us so that we were able to purchase it without going into debt. It's has everything on my wishlist, even the color is one of the three preferred colors.

I'm blessed and thankful for that!