My Hero

I have this amazing man in my life. Just when I think it's impossible for him to get better, he proves me wrong.

Things out of our control have us with too many projects and not nearly enough time. My dear sweet husband is getting up before dawn every morning and going to work. As soon as he's finished with work he heads down to Chattanooga (an almost 2 hour drive) to work on our townhouse to get it rent ready ASAP. He arrives home close to midnight and falls into bed, only to start again the next day.

He doesn't complain or act resentful that my "job" is easier. He is doing all of this work himself. He's gutting a bathroom, re-roofing a section of the house, and making quite a few repairs. He not only knows how to do all of these things, but can do them well.

He's without his family, often goes without food until he gets home so he can get more work done, and is exhausted. But last night I watched as this amazing man went in to kiss his kids goodnight. They were asleep, so they wouldn't have known if he had skipped a night. But this didn't stop him. Even exhausted he shows his family love.

I'm incredibly blessed to be married to my hero!

Photo Challenge Day 1

You, Now

Our anniversary was yesterday and we try to take a picture every year. Not sure why, but it started the year after we married and I don't think we've skipped a year yet.

I took this using the timer and tripod.

It's after midnight so ignore the sleepy eyes. At least we remembered to take the picture. =)

Marriage Challenge - #6

Make him a priority. Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert and drink are. Be sure to serve him all three one night this week. Bonus: cook his favorite dishes all week long!

When I read the challenge this summer I thought "no problem". We were sitting in that hotel room and I had just made a menu for our first month in our new home. Jon and I had sat on the bed and put everything we could think of that we were craving and missing while we were eating out every meal. This included full meals every night and desserts on Sabbaths.

By the time we got into our new home we were so ready to eat a home cooked meal that I think we were almost willing to eat anything. But since I'd had the time to prepare a menu with grocery lists and recipes it was easy to execute. I realized how easy it would make my life if I just continued this.

I've been able to cook at home most evenings now instead of eating out. If we do eat out it's because we want to and not because there isn't anything in the house.

But what I realized today when I pulled this challenge up was that it wasn't just about meals.

I read a poster when I was a pre-teen that has stayed with me ever since. It says -

"Love is what's best for the other person."

I've tried very hard to treat my husband and my marriage by this.

Jon's family was here part of this last week and this weekend. On Sunday morning Jon, his dad and his brother went mountain bike riding. Now I knew that they would be gone longer than the time they'd said. Dominic had his Little Lamb class at 3pm and Jon has always gone with him. It's during Caitlin's nap time and I've used this as my non-children time. I didn't want Jon to go on the bike ride. He had been gone on a business trip and I felt like we hadn't spent any time together and I was missing him. I also didn't want to miss my non-child time if I had to be the one to take Dominic to his meeting. 

I was being supremely selfish. Jon needed that time with his dad and brother and it was only a small amount of time in the whole grand scheme of things. But that didn't stop me from pouting in my mind. And since I've been living with my dear husband for over 14 years I'm sure he knew I was in a foul mood.

While he was gone I began to feel very guilty. It didn't stop me from feeling selfish, but it certainly convicted me that I had not been loving my husband and making him a priority. He needed this time with his family and needed the exercise as well since he hadn't been able to ride his bike while on the business trip. I knew that I should offer to go to Dominic's meeting with him if they happened to return before 3pm. My husband is an amazing man and they were back by 2:30pm. Since we live about 5 minutes from the church this was plenty of time for him to change and go to Dominic's meeting. I told Jon that I would take Dominic. 

But I was still grouchy and selfish about it. 

The meeting was loud and cold (for some reason the heat was never turned on and some of the class was outside in the cold and wet). I had a headache and was miserable. I became a martyr and kept telling myself "I sure hope he appreciates this."

But I was doing it for all of the wrong reasons. My priority should have been Jon and not my selfish heart. Just because I eventually did the right thing didn't make it right unless I did it in love.

So this week I will work even more on changing my heart to show my husband my love and to make him a priority in my life. He's the best husband a girl could ask for and I need to show him how I feel.

Marriage Challenge - #5

Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example - a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

I happened to be in a restaurant when I remembered that I needed to ask Jon this question. I knew if I didn't ask right then I'd forget again. So I quickly wrote five things down on a piece of paper and had him prioritize them. I might have come up with a better list had I been at home and read the instructions or had more time to think. But he surprised me with the order he put them.

This is the list I gave him - 

Clean house and laundry

Home cooked meals

Family appearance (nice clothes, neat appearance, etc)

Saving money

Playing/teaching the kids (Mommy time)

This is the order that he put them in - 

1. Playing/teaching the kids

2. Clean house and laundry

3. Family appearance

4. Home cooked meals

5. Saving money

I guess I figured that saving money and home cooked meals wouldn't be so low on the list. 

And I wonder where time with him would fall in this if it had been on the list. =)

This was so helpful. When I read the challenge I wondered what good it would do. I know the things that Jon likes when he comes home. He enjoys a happy family and a clean home. So I should have known that these two would be the highest. But I guess it still surprised me. And it helped me prioritize my day. If the kids want to play and the house is messy we make a game of cleaning up. I've learned some really creative ways to pull them into the cleaning. Dominic's favorite is when we set the timer and pretend the house is on fire and we have to get everything picked up before the timer goes off. Not sure what the fire has to do with it, but he loves it and willingly helps pick up whenever I suggest it.

Caitlin likes singing while we clean. So I'll sing while I vacuum or scrub the bathroom. I've cringed when I wonder that the neighbors are thinking (the windows are often open). But the kids love to make games of things and this helps. Also they know that when the house is tidy we can go outside and play or I'll read to them. 

So this may be the real reason they help after all. =)

It's also helped when I'm stressing about cutting coupons or thinking about running to 5 different stores to compare prices. Jon would rather I spend the time on my family and the house and that takes the pressure off. I'm still careful with the money that I spend, but I don't have to stress about it or take time away from what he would rather I be doing.

Poor Jon! He knows where my priorities lie. He can't come out of the library until it's finished. We'll talk about the rest later. =)

Marriage Challenge - Step 4

Admire your husband - List of qualities that I love in my man!

It was so easy to make this list. And yet it’s hard to post it. It doesn’t really show what an amazing person I’ve married. He’s the very best husband for me and I’m so very thankful for him.

This list is in no particular order. =)

committed to his family
creative
loves me
a great dad

thinks outside the box
open minded
can fix anything

can do anything he puts his mind to

toughs out hard situations
frugal - but will spend $ for a good cause
generous
listens well
non-critical
really, really handsome =)

patient
funny

leader in our family (and I’m sure in other areas as well)
thoughtful of others
unselfish
intelligent

has self-control
a Christian

I respect him so much. And to me, this is one of the most important things in a marriage. If you don’t respect and admire your spouse then it’s hard to like them. You start to criticize the little things and soon they become the big things. Jon has my respect, my love and my loyalty. He’s a wonderful, amazing person and I’m blessed to be married to him.

Marriage Challenge - Step 3

Ask your husband every morning how you can pray for him that day.

This one was easy to do, but hard to blog about.

I feel that my husband's prayer requests are personal and not something I should be sharing with anyone. A few mornings he asked for things like helping him be a better husband and father. And this is something that I think as parents and spouses we should all wish and work for. But it's also something that I can't ever put a date beside saying that the prayer was answered. It's more of an on-going thing.

But three of the mornings he asked for specific things and they have all been answered. I know that God answers prayer, but I truly wasn't expecting Him to answer so quickly.

I enjoyed this challenge. It allowed me inside my husband's thoughts for a brief moment. Jon isn't the sharing type and asking him what he wanted me to pray for him allowed me to see his wishes and desires. It made me feel closer to him.

Marriage Challenge - Step 2

Remember Your Vows - post pictures of your wedding day.

Jon and I had a very small, inexpensive wedding with only family and a few friends.

We were married in a small church near my home that copied the plans from the church my parents were married in.

Jon and I, with our families, arrived at the church that morning and got everything set up for the reception. Then when the photographer arrived we had all of the pictures taken. It helped to speed things up between the wedding and the reception. And I would rather have Jon spend the whole day with me than try to keep hidden in that tiny church just for traditions sake.

My uncle, a pastor, married us. 

Well, sorta. =) 

Since Jon and I lived so far apart we were having a hard time getting to the court house together. So we figured we'd have the wedding and the honeymoon and then go to our new home and "get married". Only we forgot to tell my uncle. He was a bit surprised and I thought for a second he wasn't going to marry us. But I convinced him we would be married in God's eyes and then would take care of the legal part in a few days. =) I also told my uncle to keep it VERY short and simple. I have a very bad case of stage fright and was afraid I'd pass out or something terrible at my own wedding.

 

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. 

After the wedding we were able to go right to the reception because the pictures had already been taken.

Jon and I were so young when we decided to get married. I knew I was probably too young to get married. But Jon was so mature. And I knew that I'd rather grow up with my best friend than waiting until I was all grown up to get married.

I made a commitment to love, honor and cherish my husband that day. Thankfully Jon has been a very easy man to keep those promises to. God really blessed me when he picked out my husband for me. We've been married for fourteen years now and they have been the best years of my life.

Back to the wedding legality issues - 

When Jon and I returned from our honeymoon we stepped right into a busy week with job hunting for me and school for Jon. Towards the end of the week we finally had a free moment and went down to the court house on Jon's lunch break. The lady told us to hurry because the justice of peace was leaving for lunch.

He was in a super hurry and rushed us through our vows. At the end he said

"You may kiss the bride." Before we could even get close he said

"Okay, that's enough. Sign here."

I'm so thankful that we have that hilarious moment to remember, but that it's not our only memory of a wedding ceremony. =)

Marriage Challenge - Step 1

It's time for the marriage challenge to begin. Here is the 1st step -

Post Pictures from your dating days (or tell all about it!). Think about one thing you used to do or have as a couple that you have lost in the shuffle of life. How can you regain it?

Jon and I met our sophomore year in high school. We were both new students at Ouachita Hills Academy that year. I first noticed Jon because of his blond curls and blue eyes. He was VERY cute. =)

But later I became more interested in him as a person. He was quiet and didn't talk very much (unlike me) so it was a perfect fit. He was very smart and seemed to have a maturity about him that the other guys at the school did not have. It was so easy to talk to him and because our school did not allow dating we became really good friends first. My parents thought he was the coolest kid in the school and told me "if you have to like someone here you should like that Jon Murrell guy."
Thankfully this didn't make me lose interest. =)

 

By the second year of school we had figured out that we were attracted to each other.
We secretly began dating. 

Jon informed me on a camping trip our families had both arranged our senior year that he was going to marry me some day. I told him yes, but he'd have to ask me properly someday. =) 

It was hard to hide our love and we were found out. After quite a bit of discipline and lots of stress we graduated and began dating in earnest.

Immediately following graduation.

 

 

Jon was an amazing boyfriend. He had received a scholarship to Arkansas Tech. After class on Friday he would drive the 6 hours to my house in TN arriving late at night or even early on Saturday morning. Then on Sunday afternoon he would head home.

 

 We wrote often and talked to each other every night on the phone. 

In March of 1996 Jon asked my dad if he could marry me. Daddy agreed.

My family had all gone on vacation and I had stayed at home to finish with the last of my classes. I was lonely and talking to Jon on the phone. We had planned a December wedding and I had even ordered the invitations. Jon convinced me that instead of getting a job for 3 months after my graduation that we should move the wedding up to September 1, 1996. We would have been officially dating for 3 1/2 years by then. I made some phone calls, rearranged some wedding plans and hand wrote a new date on the wedding invitations (very rednecky =) Is that a word?). 

A week before the wedding I was at his parents home with him so we could finalize wedding plans and have a bit of alone time before the wedding day came. We went for a walk and we talked about how hard it would be for us with me starting a new job and him still in school. We were young - 19 years old. But it seems worth it to be able to see each other every day. On the way back to his house he stopped to pick a flower by the road and asked me to marry him. Of course, I said yes.

The week before the wedding.

So on September 1, 1996 Jon and I were married.

Marriage Challenge

I'm following a blog that is called Women Living Well. It's an inspiring blog about being a Christian wife and mother. During the summer she posted a blog every week challenging her followers to do a marriage challenge. We were in the midst of a move and I knew that I couldn't do some of the challenges (cooking a favorite meal, etc.)

Jon and I have an amazing marriage and I feel so blessed that God put us together. But "working" on your marriage is always a good thing. So I decided to make it a fall challenge instead of a summer challenge.

Starting next week I'll start with the first challenge and blog about it.